my major insecurity

Throughout our youth, we are asked “what do you want to be when you grow up?” The question is taken lightly when we’re children as it allows us to dream of possibilities for our future. As we age, we start to realize that the question becomes an insecurity. The insecurity stems from our dreams becoming realistic. College puts stress on our insecurities and results in students too scared to branch out or too scared to fail.

Was I always sure? No

Did I change my major? Multiple times

When I was first asked what I wanted to be, I said “pilot or astronaut.” When I was 6, I found out I was blind in my left eye due to a malformity from being born 2 months premature. That meant I couldn’t fly a plane or a spacecraft as flight schools would not take a half-blind pilot.

Soon after, I found a passion in skin care. Throughout high school, I took classes that would help me be a dermatologist. As a result, I spent my entire freshman year of college as a Pre-Med with a goal to specialize in Dermatology. That following summer, I interviewed and shadowed a local dermatologist in my town. He sat me down one day and asked me if I had other dreams. I did. I have much respect for medical professionals but during my shadowing, I realized that I didn’t want to be confined to a hospital or a medical office. I wanted to travel and help the world.

This was my insecurity to branch out.

I changed my major three weeks before school started and opted to be an International Business and Marketing major. I started in the business route as I thought it would be more practical and marketable to employers. Although I accumulated beneficial business skills, I found myself unmotivated and unenthusiastic. I questioned whether I could wake up in 20 years and be content with spending my college years in an unhappy major.

Near the end of semester, my godmother called me and asked me how I was doing in my major. I couldn’t fake it and told her I was unhappy. She questioned why I keep limiting myself to careers that I considered safe. Why did I try to learn skills that I was uninterested in when my natural talents were elsewhere and could be honed.

This was my insecurity of failure.

I realized that my passion was people. The world was my platform, meeting people and exploring cultures was my motivation. As a Public and International Relations major, I finally feel as though I found my role in the world. I knew I could wake up in 20 years and be proud of myself and what I was doing.

Gaylord College of Journalism and Mass Media

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